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A Marriage of Partners

    
Usually, people think of good couples as a perfect fit. They complement each other and things they do in joint effort are a success. When one acts with the support of the other, they both achieve. Much like with politics, a house divided falls.
     I'm not saying that you must do everything together. I have already given my thoughts in a previous post about "me time" and "we time." Instead, I am saying this: Recognize and appreciate how each of you plays part in the greatest successes and failures of your life. Behind every great man is a great woman who watched the kids so he could rest, worked to put him through school, or joined him in chasing a pipe dream into profitable reality. Beside every good woman is a man who was not threatened by her success, supportive of her decision to go back to school, and had pancake Saturdays with the kids so she could sleep a few more minutes.
     Maybe you are the best doubles in tennis or billiards. Perhaps you keep each other motivated working out. You could even own a business together. Remember, your best joint venture in life is your marriage.

Go Team Powell,
Brittany

The Kiss Off

     Did you ever notice when television wants to convey a happy marriage, or a book wants to establish a loving couple, they send one off to work with a kiss from the other? There is a reason for the madness. 
     Do you kiss your hubby goodbye before work? I bet his day would go better if you did. Do you kiss your wife when you first come in from work? I bet she'd be happier to see you with your lips pressed to hers. What about at random on a Tuesday, because the mood strikes and their lips are just calling your name?
     If you didn't answer yes to even one of my starting questions, I sincerely hope it is because at the moment you are enjoying your independence and are without a significant other. If you have a significant other and you aren't even keeping up with the work and bedtime kisses, I am giving you the benefit of the doubt that you have conflicting schedules. 
     I do, all of the above. I noticed the trend in media and gave it some thought. I realized I am fortunate enough to have four guaranteed kisses a day. I also gave some thought to the relationships around me and asked in the cases where I wasn't sure, but, sadly, not everyone is getting as lucky as I am. By lucky, I'm still just referring to kissing.
     Growing up my parents were never excessive about P.D.A., but I always saw them kiss goodbye. If we were walking around the mall or a grocery store, Daddy's hand was always sure to find Mom's or vice versa. Now that I am adult and in my own committed relationship, I still take many cues from my parents. They set a great example as they enjoy the perks of being fifty plus, still holding hands and exchanging the quick kiss.
     I have a hard time when I hear couples that have been together a long time say they are loosing the intimacy or that one or the other isn't as affectionate as they used to be. There are so many moments that are almost mandatory in my relationship that reaffirm the affection that my day seems to not go right without them. My husband and I typically kiss good morning, goodbye before work, hello when we see each other again after, and goodnight. This is outside of the random kisses that just come on a whim. Still, Benjamin, my husband, and I have been together just over six years, three in wedded bliss, and some things have just become second nature. He may not always open the car door for me, but he always waits to take my hand and walk with me. Even on our roughest days we can't part ways without a kiss goodbye or sleep without a kiss goodnight. We may not have been together as long as my parents, but I don't think they got where they are by neglecting the little things. 
     The point I want to make is this: Work all the standard pecks back into your relationship. Deeper kisses will follow. Women will always say that you can tell by the kiss, so grab your woman and kiss her often. Men are presumed to have a one track mind, so give him a piece of yours in a kiss next time words aren't cutting it.Next thing you know you'll be back to enjoying just making out as much as you did in high school, but with more finesse.

Glossed and minty fresh,
Brittany

Time Together

     Every day is hectic and it seems there is less and less time for anything. We rush to work and school. We take quick trips to the store. We don't have time to make  time for what counts.
     Any relationship suffers when someone feels like the other person doesn't have time for them. Relationships also suffer when the little free time there is gets spent apart. I hear so much about man caves and mom caves and all the other caves people are constructing to get "me time." Well, me time is great, but don't be so determined to be alone with me that you completely shut out we. In the hunt for personal relaxation remember you got together because you found excitement and relaxation in being together (yes, i mean both at the same time). 
     My husband and I are gamers. We each have a PS3.  Many game systems now have online counterparts. Maybe he wants to game with his bro's. That is fine, but if you both like games like Red Dead Redemption or other online linkables this is one way to sneak in fun time together.  
     For once, I also encourage you to take television to heart. Take a look at a little show called The League. If you and your significant other both like sports, are computer savy, and actually have time to follow the sport of interest: JOIN A FANTASY LEAGUE. Join one at random through a safe site like espn.com or yahoo.com. If that's not your thing, see if you can get other couples, friends, and family members to join in forming your own. One stone many birds, my friends. Bring your entire circle closer together with the friendly competition of vicarious sports.
     Take advantage of technology. Use your phone to send each other silly pictures from your day throughout the day or play a casual game. It makes the other person feel included and know that you enjoy sharing with them. Hold back at times when it is inappropriate, like school and work. A quick photo to bring humor or say, "I miss you ::wink wink::" can make you feel cared for and close. Slipping humor in to a smartphone based word game can be a pleasant lunch hour surprise.
     At any rate, there are a million and one ways to interact when you are really interacting. Take advantage of all the ways to have time together when you aren't having time together. You never know what small inclusion in your activities will make your spouse smile.

Taking Time to be Merry,
Brittany

Dinner is Ready

     I try to always have dinner ready when my husband gets home. I'm a student at the moment, and since we share one vehicle I tailor my schedule to my husband's needs. This usually means with some planning I can start cooking an hour or so before I expect him and serve something nice. He can walk in, give me my kiss, and be served or dig in when ready.

     I know a lot of couples now that don't do this. Many couples I know dine out, order in, or grab what they can independently. Dinner is rushed and prepackaged. If they do cook at home, it is semi-homemade at best. This is better, but still seems like not quite enough for someone you love.

     My husband is always very appreciative of what I make- even the not so great dishes. He likes that I take the time and use my own hands. Its reminiscent of a time gone by. I am not advocating a return to the cult of domesticity. My husband does the same for me if he has the day off and I have class or something keeps me out later than him. I am saying this investment of more of my time and energy encourages a different and deeper enjoyment of our meals and mealtime together.

     My challenge to you all is to make dinner for one another more often. See if you don't also more enjoy the mealtime together as well.

Baby Steps to a Merry Marriage,

Brittany